This is part 2 of the Ten Commandments of Marriage. Part 1 covered the first five commandments and this post focuses on the last five.
While there are many places in Scripture you can find help and advice on marriage, the 10 Commandments as listed in Exodus 20 offer excellent marriage application for us. Here are lessons I see from the last 5 Commandments.
- “Do not kill” – vs 13
Be gentle. Actions and words are NOT for hurting each other.
One of the most uncomfortable situations you might find yourself in is to witness someone speaking or acting harshly toward their spouse. Not only is it hurtful and rude but it violates marriage trust. When you are tempted to respond harshly to your spouse, ask yourself these three questions before you say something to your spouse about what they did or said: Is what I am going to say….
- Truthful – Be careful of “always”, “never” terms.
- Necessary – How big of a deal is this really?
- Timely – Is this the right time or place?
Only after you’ve said “yes” to all three of these questions can you respond. Following this guideline is harder than most would think, but doing so will calm a great many disagreements.
- Be faithful – vs 14
Establish personal boundaries. Not just physical boundaries but emotional ones.
- Do not ride alone in a car with anyone of the opposite sex other than your spouse.
- Do not be in an office, classroom or house alone with….
- Speak well of your spouse with…..
- Exchange each others passwords or use common accounts.
- Be very careful about social media conversations/messages. Stay as public as possible. The instant a problem comes up, un-follow, delete – whatever you have to do.
- “Do not steal” – vs 15
Be persons of integrity – especially with each other. Marriage isn’t 50/50. It’s 100/100.
- “Do not lie” – vs 16
Always look to build trust in what you say verses what you do. Trust is earned in spoonfuls but lost in buckets.
- “Do not covet” – vs 17
Be content. This is harder than it looks as there are times when the struggle of life make the lives of others look appealing. This commandment applies in a few different ways:
1. Be content with each other. This is more than just being faithful. This is being content with your spouse’s failings, faults and shortcomings. The more you are content with your spouse, the better chance they will be content with your failings.
2. As a couple, you need to learn this. Be content with what you have. The moment you begin to think “We’ll be happy when we have…….,” you are coveting.
Marriage is honorable before the LORD and sacred. It isn’t easy but it is rewarding. Working on our marriages, encouraging couples and honoring successful marriages is an important role many churches seem to ignore. But I believe, if more of our marriages in our churches were strong, the issues in our society would not be as prominent.
So, take your wife out to dinner. Blessings my friend!